Days after the wedding, Tommy appeared at my front door, bucket and brush in hand. “Wash your windows?” Tommy asked. “I just started my own business. Forty bucks.”
I said yes. My panes undoubtedly needed a scrub. But my real motivation was helping him out.
A week later I was having lunch with an older businessman who also knew Tommy. “So, did Tommy come by your house?” he asked.
“Yeah. I hired him.”
“He came by my house, too,” the businessman said. “But I told him no.”
I asked why. The businessman was known for his big-heartedness.
“Because Tommy doesn’t know beans about running his own business,” the businessman said, “and now isn’t the right time for him to learn. What Tommy needs right now is to buckle down and get a full time job.”
This man ran one of the largest building supply depots in the county. In those days, jobs could be had fairly easily at the supply yard, if only Tommy asked.
It took me awhile before I fully grasped this businessman’s strange strategy for ultimately helping Tommy succeed. Starting a business isn’t easy. You’ve got to master the disciplines of working for yourself, including building a clientele list, marketing to keep enough projects coming in, retaining a customer base, and much more.
Both the businessman and I wanted the best for Tommy, and we admired Tommy’s gumption. But the businessman was right. Perhaps if Tommy had started his cleaning business on the side and built it up, things would be different. But if Tommy’s only income came from a brand new window washing business, then there was no way he was going to be able to support his family.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar season?
You have good intentions in going one direction, but what you really need to do is go a different direction, a slightly more responsible direction, if you’re going to truly succeed.
My wife and I recently experienced a season like that. In the course of four months, we were swarmed with a barrage of unforeseen bills. Big bills. Crazy bills. Bills that bled through the mail. Lumped together, these bills equaled almost three months’ salary.
We tightened our belts, and cut out doodads. But enough was enough. I needed to do what I needed to do.
I cut loose my Kawasaki.
I should mention I loved this motorbike. I had dreamed about owning it for years before I finally did. My dear wife and I had agreed that having a hobby would be good for me, and I had owned the bike for only a year.
But at the end of the day, it just wasn’t the right season of life for me to have a hobby that took that amount of money out of the family budget. I posted my motorbike on Craigslist, and it sold within two days.
The decision came fairly easy after I realized sometimes a leader needs to take one for the team.
He voluntarily inconveniences himself for the sake of the greater good.
He buckles down and gets a full time job, even though he wants the freedom of working for himself.
He sells his motorbike, though he longs for the open trail.
Question: In what ways have you ever needed to buckle down, and how did it ultimately benefit you in the end?
9 comments:
The good thing is, I live in Germany and we are ca. 6 ours before time in the US. So I read this article when you are still sleeping ;)
How is Tommy dealing with the situation is my question. I missed that info at the end. ;-)
I think mostly all of us have these experiences when you want to have/own something you can not afford at the moment. And sometimes things are so bad, you have to sell things which you really like. I don't want to imagine if I have to sell my WWII stuff one day. That is my hobby and I want to keep all of it.
At the moment my girl and me trying to safe money for a greater good. A own home, without rent. Sure we have to take a credit for it, but time will come were the house is fully ours, and not the bank's anymore. So you buckle down for a greater good. Something to have for the future, something you can rely on. There are very few things or persons you can rely on these days.
best
T
Great post, Marcus. I'm going to share this.
Rosslyn--thank you.
Tobi--to answer your question about where is Tommy now. We've actually moved since then, so I've lost direct contact with him. But last I heard things were going okay for him and his young family--they were still together, they had another child, and, no, his window washing business didn't last long, before he got a full time job in a manufacturing plant, I think it was.
I actually applaud much of what this young man did, meaning he did take responsibility for his situation and he was trying to go the right direction. Sure the couple struggled financially for a few years in their early marriage, but many couples do on the road to figuring things out.
Thanks for your consistent comments. Much appreciated.
This comes up a great deal in raising kids. The easy way out at the moment tends not to be what's best in the long run. Whether it's not buying them something, having them spend an hour slowly cleaning up their things instead of you doing it in 5 minutes, slogging through difficult homework rather than just telling them the answer when you're both at your wits end...doing things that are more trouble and less appealing at the time end up being the most beneficial to them and you ultimately.
Very true. I hadn't thought of that application, but I can relate to it. Thanks.
Leaving work was the responsible thing in my case (maybe not from a social aspect but for my children it was). We live very tight but leaving work to be a stay at home dad was the right choice for my family at this time for our circumstances but i would like to return at some point. I have 2 young children with special needs that we can't just hand off to daycare and my wife can't look after both by herself. It isn't money they need, but the hands on care and time and effort with them. Fortunately i live in a country where there are Carer's payment and there is funding and services to get them the therapies and healthcare they need and although we go without a lot of extras and paying the bills is difficult on payment plans, we still live reasonably comfortable, ie: live in a house with water and electricity and can put food on the table and clearly still afford to have prepaid internet without the kids missing out on what they do need.
Lee, such a good word from you, thanks.
It sounds like you're exactly where you need to be right now. I can only imagine there are both highs and lows to each day for you, both joys and sorrows.
But I bet your children and your family are so much richer because of your decision.
Thank you very much Marcus for giving the info about Tommy. I'm happy for him! Looks like he did the right choice after all.
Lee for me it sounds like you did the rightest choice of all!
All the best to you and your family.
T
Thanks Marcus and Tobias. The kids are benefiting greatly from it, as is my wife having me home to help.
They are beginning to achieve milestones we had previously come to accept that they may never achieve.
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