It was an ambitious goal. Fonyo started at the Atlantic Ocean and headed west. Day after day he slogged on, dodging prairie blizzards and running on a specially-designed prosthetic leg.
After 14 months, Fonyo dipped his leg into the Pacific. The nation cheered; $13 million was raised. Fonyo was awarded the Order of Canada, the country’s second-highest honor.
With his huge goal completed, Fonyo seemed unsure what to do next. Sadly, his life took a turn for the worse.
In later years Fonyo again made big headlines, but this time it was for alcohol and drug abuse. He struggled to hold a job. He struggled relationally. He faced numerous criminal charges, including assault with a deadly weapon, fraud, and theft. In December 2009, his membership in the Order of Canada was revoked.
An important lesson can be learned from the downside of Fonyo’s life. Setting and completing a huge goal is a noble undertaking. But the real challenge is to live with consistent excellence, day in, day out, one day after the next.
How do you live with consistent excellence?
Some say the key, whenever you complete a goal, is immediately to set another. Success emerges when mountaintops are connected. A good life is an endless string of aiming for the next big thing.
Sure, there’s much merit to repeated goal setting. Yet I believe consistent excellence comes in a quieter way—when you remind yourself daily of the core reasons that you live for, and then make choices with those reasons in mind.
Think of these core reasons as the foundational motivations that keep you going in good directions. Have you ever defined your core reasons for living? The criterion for identifying them is straightforward. Just ask, “What’s most important?”
If you’re seeking to define your core, below is an example, mine. Your list will undoubtedly look different, but perhaps this list will provide ideas for what’s most important to you as well.
My top 5:
1. GOD. I want to please God in everything I do. Sure, I believe in grace—that God loves unconditionally and offers unmerited favor. But I also believe my actions can tick him off. I don’t want to do that.
2. SELF. Self-respect is everything. By “self” I don’t mean to elevate my position. It’s just that each morning when I look in the mirror, I don’t want to look at an idiot. My actions and choices can go a long way (or not) toward who I am, and become.
3. SPOUSE. I want to have the best possible marriage I can have. My wife is the babealicious love of my life, and I need to be consciously aware of nurturing that vitally important relationship.
4. KIDS. I want to be a good model for my children. I need to live wisely so I can speak into their lives. I don’t want them ever to lose confidence in me as a father.
5. WORK. When it comes to my career, I want every available opportunity. If I make wiser choices, then the more my career will benefit, and (hopefully) the more people I can help educate, inform, and inspire (my core reasons for writing).
I go through this list in my mind every morning. It’s like taking a vitamin pill. It sounds like such a simple plan, and it is. I simply remind myself daily of the five main things that keep me going.
Do you want to live with consistent excellence?
Define what motivates you. And then live with that in mind, day after day.
You can do this.
You and me and Fonyo—we’ve all got what it takes.
Question: what are your core values, and how do you remind yourself of them—and live with them in mind—on a consistent basis?
10 comments:
Tony Dungy tells of the goal-setting that he has done with his football teams. He tells them that if their goal is to win the Superbowl, then their goal is not big enough.
My goals all have to pass this criteria:
1. Do they bring glory to God?
2. Will they benefit my neighbor?
3. Are they something my wife can be a partner in?
4. Will they be something that can make my kids into better human beings?
Ed, fantastic. Thanks.
I know I am fortunate to have the blessings of life, good health, a wonderful family, living in a free country, being financially secure, and so much more. I think about these gifts regularly and feel I have to make the most of them each day. It's a privilege and a duty I owe to myself, my family, G-d and anyone who doesn't have these things. The opportunities to make the most of my life are ongoing and plenty, big and small - keeping a positive attitude, patience, never giving up, treating a stranger with kindness and respect, on and on. Nothing less than striving to do my best and to do what feels right is acceptable to me. I can never take for granted who I am and what I've been given.
So well said Kaylee, thanks.
Best one yet Marcus, thank you!
I share your core values, though your second one quite surprised me. SELF in second position? As a Christian (wife and mother), I would have given it a lower position... But when considered the way you do, Self definitely has to be near the top. What's in our hearts determines the rest of our life. Isn't it written "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life"?
I find journaling a good way to remind myself of what is important to me. Writing down my thoughts, concerns,prayers, projects, etc. helps me gain a more objective look at what furnishes my mind - and I can better pinpoint what has to readjusted in my day-to-day living.
My core values changed a bit since last Wednesday, because my first child, a boy was born.
1. God
I don't talk to him often, but when I do it is mostly about thanking him and asking him for a favour. Like the last one I asked him for was to make the birth-giving going well for my girl and my baby, and that everything will be fine with both of them. And after everything went fine, I thanked him.
2. Family
First and foremost my girl and my little boy. The worst things ran through my mind last Wednesday during the birth, and they still do. Like what can happen to them. Sure this thoughts are always there, but at the moment they are pretty pevailing.
3. Healthiness
This is something you can not control 100%. Thats where God comes in line.
4. Work
you can't live without it. If you want to be a role model and a feeder for your loved ones, you got to be good in what you are doing. Since Wednesday this point ranked up.
5. Happiness
I don't want to imagine live without laughing!
@ Chantal,
Thanks so much for your comment.
Yes, agreed, having "self" so near the top might appear a surprise, given exhortations to "think of others more highly than self," etc.
But, as you've pointed out, the concept is similar to what you'd hear from a flight attendant on an airplane in case of turbulence.
If you're traveling with a child, first, put on your own oxygen mask, and second put on your child's mask.
The idea is that if you are not functional, then you will be less able to serve others. So you must make sure that you are functional first.
Surely it sounds counter-intuitive to prioritize self, but when considered from a self-care perspective, it makes sense.
@ Tobi,
A huge CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your son this past week. What a wonderful thing.
Blessings to you and your family this holiday season.
Marcus, like I already said over facebook! Many many thanks for the kind words.
T
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