It’s often part of the ladder-climbing experience when just starting out. Or it occurs between jobs, or is due to an injury or downed economy.
The season, although difficult, can actually hold
forth much benefit. Call these benefits surprising silver linings, lessons
learned from hard times.
About ten years ago, in my mid-30s, I officially opened my
own editorial business.
Five months later, my business officially failed.
What followed was what my wife Mary Margaret and I today
call “our lean season.” We weren’t poor by global standards—we still had a roof
over our heads and ate three meals a day.
But by G8 standards, we were broke. We were uncertain about how
to pay our bills, in danger of losing our house, and fearful and stressed about
our immediate and future financial situation.
During that winter, I applied for more than 80 jobs. I went
on interviews, attended job fairs, networked with business owners, and passed
out copies of my résumé by the dozen.
Blame the collapse of the newspaper industry. The field was
flooded with hungry, well-credentialed journalists looking for work. Time after
time, the answer was no.
Today, almost a decade later, Mary Margaret and I talk with
people who have experienced similar lean seasons. We have good friends, for
instance, a surgeon and his wife, who tell about the few years in medical
school right after their daughters were born. They lived in an apartment with
rats.
This is what we learned about lean seasons from talking with
others, and also from our own experience.
1. You discover you have good friends
Some people experience financial
difficulty and react by feeling embarrassed. They clam up and try to keep up
appearances of financial success.
We chose to go other direction. We openly
talked about our situation with the people closest to us, seeking their
emotional support and gleaning their advice.
It’s funny. Word gets around, and
weird things begin to happen. Someone brought us ham. Another person fixed our
car for free.
If you’re normally in the position
of being self-sufficient, it can feel strange at first to receive the kindness
of people in your community.
But it didn’t feel like a hand out
to us. It felt like a hand up. People knew we would do it for them if needed,
and it was simply our turn to receive.
2. Your character gets shaped for the better.
I don’t look back and speak about
our lean season with fondness. Those weren’t “the good old days,” and, no, I’d
never want to go through that time again.
But out of that season came good.
It created empathy with people who struggle financially. It created a good type
of humility, a recognition that we’re all in this life-thing together.
And it created an appreciation for
the simpler things of life. I remember when my wife and I were finally able to
afford a $40 Costco membership. We literally whooped and gave each other
high–fives.
3.
Desperation
can become one of your greatest allies.
If you have a job you dislike and
dream of doing something different, it can be easy to continue on year after
year. You’re filled with angst, but your steady salary makes it difficult to
walk away.
Desperation can provide the courage
needed. The same is true if you’re flat out of work.
During our lean season, I became
fearless in how I approached my job search. I’d talk to anybody, anytime, about
any opening.
I’d brazenly ask people for
career-oriented favors—either to be introduced their boss or to put in a good
word for me about an opening.
Ultimately, my desperation
propelled me to create my own job. Several months later I restarted my
editorial company. And the second time around, it succeeded.
How about you?
Have you ever gone through a “lean season?” Perhaps you’re there now.
What have you learned along the way?
14 comments:
Marcus, this is a helpful article, thank you. My wife and me are going through same right now. I like what you said about desperation being your greatest allies.
Andy, thanks. Best to you and your family during this time.
Been there, done that Marcus when I lost my job shortly after my wife and I got married.
We learned a lot of things through this lean time. One of the biggest was things always seem to work out. You can't give in, even when it seems like all else is failing.
Joseph, good thoughts. Glad to hear things are going better now.
Nice write Marcus!
I know someone who is in such a time right now. But he is not talking to anybody about it. maybe because he is embarrassed or something. Is is deabply in need of money, at least it seams so. But what he does, he asks his parents and sister for money. I know his sister very well, and I know she is going through a hard time because of that. She ain't got the money either. He says the she will get back her money, but I don't believe so and she isn't either. It is her brother, so she helps out, even she is not in the postion to help. But what disturbs me the most is that the parents and she gave him the money without solving his problem. Every month he is asking again and again.
But he, his girl and the two kids, don't do anything about it. They don't want to loose their standards. Like living in a 120sqm appartment, driving two cars (even his fiance isn't working at the time). They buy pretty expensive things. They are still going to the higher priced supermarkets instead of the cheaper ones. You know what I mean? I think that didn't get them through this time period.
I don't know if I should get inbetween and tell them my point of view. But maybe it i not of my business.
Me myself, luckily I never had any financial problems. Maybe it is because I'm only 28 y.o. right now. Hopefully they will not occur in the future...
all the best pal
T
Tobi, all the best to you, too. Thanks always for your insight.
Great post again Marcus. I think we all know situations and times like this. I remember it happening to my parents when I was younger. Also, at the moment I am a bit curious about what will come. These last few years we have been living in several countries because of the job of my girlfriend. (She is a scientist, and works with ants and bees!). She actually makes a lot of money, and so far, all this has been working out for us. When we moved to Australia a little over 2 years ago, it took me a year to get a job! I tried everything, but heard no many times as well. Luckily we could get by, but it sure did not feel nice to not bring in any money. Something simple as buying a new book became something to think twice about. But, we managed. Now we are in a time of our lives, that we really need to make some decisions. We will move back to Denmark next year, since we prefer living there then in our home country, The Netherlands. The thing is, my girlfriend wants to stop working in Science, and do something completely different. One of the reasons is because she is now pregnant of our first child! I have had the dream to write books and do something in World War 2 research. I know it's realistic to say that you really have to be good to make any money off this, let alone enough money to support a family. So...in February we will move to the other side of the world again, a baby on the way, and have 2 years to figure out what we want to do with our lives. Where to live, what kind of job to do..letting go of a certain financial stable income, or follow your heart and dreams? For now we choose the steady, stable income, but after living in different parts of the world, we also know it is important to enjoy life and get the most out of it. Pretty scary for what might come, but so far we have always managed, and I am sure we will manage again in the future. I just think it can be scary to let go of something comfortable, and start something new. In this, I have a huge admiration for you Marcus. Well done on the editorial business.
Yuri-what an interesting job for your girlfriend--ants and bees!
Hugest congratulations on your news! Fatherhood is a wonderful institution of life. You'll love it.
You're certainly living a life of adventure right now, and these experiences in living in different countries and working different jobs go a long way toward a well-rounded outlook on life. There are purposes for these seasons of our lives, no doubt.
Thanks for your encouragement, Yuri. Always good to hear from you.
Thank you Marcus! It sure is an exciting time at the moment! We'll see what comes our way :)
Although I have felt a bit down at moments after we just moved here, looking back on this period, I have grown so much, and became even more happy. It's nice to pick up things from different countries, customs and people you meet. That's what makes life interesting. I always say "I'll ride the wave where it takes me". I am sure it will work out. Have a nice weekend!
Marcus, this is such an appropriate topic right now. I don't usually post remarks on blogs but this was a hard one to pass up since thi is my family's lean year. After 19 years of success in our small business, we are on the down slope. Bankruptcy is inevitable and foreclosure is a strong possibility. For us there is no other coping mechanism but prayer. However the other thing that is paramount through this hard time is communication. Without it our family will fracture. We have teenagers whose perceptions of our situation are better than we give them credit for so this is not the time to hide things in an effort to shield them from hardship. With open communication, we have watched our kids rise above and develop real character. In the end, financial loss is much easier to recover from than a broken family unit. Just my two cents.
Michelle, good thoughts all around. My best to you and your family during this difficult time.
Yuri,
thank you very much as well, for this inside of your problems. At one side I'm pretty happy you are moving back more close to where I live. That rises the possibility of meeting you again. And if you drive down to the Hürtgen Forest you might have to pass my doorstep and pick me up! If you really thinking about being a WWII historian, you might consider an other place to move to. Because when you don't live where the things happened or where the vets are living, you might travel a lot! You know what I mean? What WWII hstory you want to be professional in? Hürtgen Forest than you might consider moving near that. You will be very busy traveling from DK to GER and USA. But that is just my thoughts. I know that you would leave family behind, but you did that already as you moved to AUS.
I wish you luck in making the right decision. Just make sure all of you three family members will be fine with the outcome of your decision. Some migt forget what is good for their wife and kid. But I know you are not that kind of person.
Best to you
T
Tobi my friend, just see your post here. For now I will keep my WWII research a "hobby". I want to work on the 9th Infantry Division history and their involvement in the Hurtgen Forest. Also, to provide family members information about their loved ones that served in the 9th Division. Yesterday I got the news that my website is already being used in several history classes in the US! With a new flight connection between Copenhagen and my hometown of Maastricht, it only takes me 2 hours to travel, door to door. Hurtgen Forest is only 45 minutes from Maastricht, so that is good. I am volunteering at the Hurtgen Forest Museum as well, and will be in charge of and managing a new exhibition about the 9th Infantry Division as well. Also, I will give some presentations at the museum about the 9th Division there every now and then. So yes, I won't be able to go every month, but I surely will go there often, as it's easy to travel and get there. I will show you around there someday for sure! Let's email about that in private and not spam this wonderful blog about that! ;)
I just want to say that this is abselutely awesome Yuri!
T
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