
That needn’t stop us from
taking them.
Here’s a story—Many years
ago, on day one of my first day of elementary school, I pose for a snapshot next
to my two-wheeler. Can you see it?
The handlebars of my bike are
turned upside down like a cool 10-speed. My clothes are jaunty and set for playground
adventure. My hair is wet and clean.
I am six, and my future is
unknown. Yet my chest is swelled with expectancy at the journey before me. I
pedal to school by myself and ride home for lunch. Mom serves soup, cheese
slices, and apples. She lets me play until it’s time to ride back to school,
and then I do.
This coming home for lunch on
my bike becomes a grand ritual. Every day I see fences and weeds, hills and
cats. I smell the nearby ocean. I wave to neighbors. It’s 1974, a different era
for children, and my bike ride to and from school is jocose and independent, largely
untouched by concern or fear.
Once that year, Mom needs to
be gone at lunchtime, meaning that I need to eat at school that day. This is
new to me. So I am set with instructions, assured with kisses, and packaged
with lunch box and note. But when noontime comes I firmly decide I cannot stay
at school. It’s too new for me. Too unknown. I want to be at home like I
usually am, so I steal away from school and pedal home, furious with longing,
determined for familiarity.
Dad has previously shown me a
hidden key behind a post in our shed. I know I can get into the house, even
shut tight as it is. I stand on a trashcan and retrieve the key, but the front
door lock is old and taut. It will not budge. How many minutes go by while I
keep trying? I cannot tell time yet; my only thought is to get the door open,
eat, and hurry back for the bell.
Help me God, I whisper, a small boy of faith. My hands are
cramped from cold. The deadbolt circles and stays tense. What if it will not
open?
But it does.
Within the walls of our
kitchen my peanut butter tastes better than steak. I leave my lunchbox empty on
the table, lock the door with fewer struggles, and ride back to school for the
rest of the afternoon.
Somewhere that day a foundation stone is set for
future journeys. This foundation will
position the constructions of adulthood. It will hold floors of courage, brace
walls of liberty, and support roofs of hope.
Years later my foundation
holds true. I continue journeying away from home, only this time international
travel fills my young adulthood years. I see hot air balloons over Kenyan
plains. I ride a double-decker bus in London. I barter for wooly sweaters near
the Acropolis in Athens.
But my journeys are not all
trouble-free. I throw up for three days straight in Haiti. I catch my finger in
a van door in Tijuana. I miss a connector in San Francisco and attempt to fly
standby during Thanksgiving weekend, the craziest time of year to fly.
Journeys bring bad and good,
hurt and joy. That’s a life lesson that never changes. Still, at six, on a
cold, fall lunchtime, hands triumphant over an old lock, my foundation was set
to journey forward, regardless of outcome.
It’s a resolve that gets
tested, year after year after year.
These days, you may have heard already, my wife and I face a different sort of trip.
A few months back two lines
showed positive. Two tests corroborated Mary’s hunch. In less than four months,
we will become a family of five.
In our deepest hearts, we
know little except excitement. But we are slower to grin now as the seriousness
of having a third child sinks in. I’m old for this, I think. By the time this
new one graduates from high school, I’ll be buying Geritol.
So much potential for both
good and bad exists in this voyage. It takes money. Time. Energy. Missed sleep.
White knuckles. Pregnancy, birth, raising a child—it can all go a lot of ways.
It’s no small journey to undertake.
Last night I stepped barefoot
on our back porch and acknowledged my fears to God. This is not a journey to
anywhere geographic. This is a journey of development. I’m no new father this
time. I’m an experienced dad. Yet I confess moments where I’m still overwhelmed.
I don’t pretend to speak for
God. It may have been a six-year-old’s voice deep within me that said: “The
future is definitely unknown. And yet, still, we journey.”
That’s the takeaway: No matter what lays in front of you this new year, boldly take
your journey.
Take it with your handlebars
turned upside down like a cool 10-speed.
Your clothes jaunty and set
for adventure.
Your chest swelled with expectancy
at the wild ride ahead.
Question: what journey lies ahead of you
this year?
14 comments:
The third (or last) one is a joy and you will continue to be an awesome father. I remember you at six and you still have the world by the tail. Love to your family of five ( a really favorite number of mine).
Hey, thanks for that Wendy. Your comment made my day.
I could almost see you struggling at that back door. What a wonderful story beautifully told. Congratulations as you and your family embark on this new expansion journey together! Christ firmly at the center.
Thanks Donna, hope your year is a great one. All best to you. --MB
Happy New Year Marcus! Lovely story here! As you know, I am in the same situation as you are in, but this will be our first child. Our first time being parents. First time dealing with this new person that will arrive sometime in May. Believe me, I have worries about this! Will I be a good dad? Will the baby be healthy and OK? What do we as parents want to teach our child? What are all these things that we will meet on our journey this year? In 5 weeks we will move from Australia to Denmark. Then we have 2 months to find an apartment that we can call home. Then we will be parents for the first time. What will I do for work? How can I make sure I can keep working on my passions? How will we have time for each other? A lot of questions. But in the end there always is this one line from one of my all time favorite songs that brings me comfort: "I'll ride the wave...where it takes me". It's as simple as that. We can worry all we want now, but we have no idea what the future holds for us. We can plan one thing, but it can turn out to be another thing. I think the journey ahead will be the start of a new phase in our lives. A new family member, a new home, working on our dreams and passions. I am sure it will all be just fine. All you need is love, and we sure have a lot of that. As long as we're together, we can do anything. Move to the other side of the world, raise a child, find a home, and find happiness in all of it. It's important to go on new journeys, and try new things. No matter what happens, the experience of it is worth it. All the best on your journey this year Marcus!
Yuri, so well said, and congrats on your upcoming new addition as well.
I like this line of yours, "I'll ride the wave...where it takes me."
All the best to you in this New Year.
What a beautifully told story, Marcus. As for your upcoming arrival, my two brown eyed parents had two brown eyed kids and then me, the only green eyed one in the bunch. My brother had two girls and his third is a boy. Just shows you never know what kind of fascinating surprises the third will bring! My brother had his third child when he was 46. His kids are ages 9, 6 and 5. He is very close to each one of them and handles it all so well. You will too. Soon enough you won't be able to imagine life without #3! Enjoy the journey.
Marcus: Congrats on the soon to be new child, what a blesssing. At age 77, this will never be an experience that I will enjoy so it lives through our daughter and grandsons. Your experiences in attending grade school are similar to what I endured. I sometimes walked with friends picked up along the way or rode my bicycle. We did not have to lock our bikes at school or anywhere around Galesburg, but I remember the freedom to explore more and more away from home. I earned money by delivering papers after school and used my bicycle to deliver the papers. Rain and snow were a problem, but youth can overcome the weather and I learned experiences which carry over into my adult years. The internet has allowed my high school class to send messages to the remaining members and it has been great hearing from different classmates. I am in contact with several former students who were in my first class(8th grade in 59) which I very much enjoy. Most of us will experience bumps to mountains throughout the years but each experience is part of our journal in adulthood. Hope you had a very nice Christmas and New Years. I look forward to Wednesdays.
Gary
Thanks for these comments, both. I really love reading them. Encouraging words, all. Thank you.
Marcus - Well written and told memory. Fantastic and so full of life. Eight months ago I welcomed my fourth child into the world. I am 38 (37 at the time). She is a beautiful girl. I have four sons and now a daughter.
I think you are better positioned now to parent than ever before. You are Christ centered, and more mature. You know now how to better enjoy the 'little' things and those moments you might not see again. You are more grounded in yourself, than you are worrying about finding yourself.
This my man, is your time. You are right. Be bold. As fearful as I was, and as hard as it is at times, this IS the best time of my life.
Thanks Swimmerman, your thoughts are very encouraging.
Congrats on your newest!
that is great news. Didn't know it so far.
Our first son is already 1 year and one month old, man time runs fast.
I wish you and your family all the best with your fifth family member from the bottom of my heart.
T
Marcus,
I want you to know that your writing encourages me. As a 24 year old I am still trying to discern the right approach to life's journeys. Though often paralyzed by fear of the unknown, a feel I am growing in my confidence to face challenges more boldly. Hopefully, by God's grace, I have quite a bit more journeying to do, and a lot more to learn.
I am very glad to have found your article on AOM about following your gut, and also your blog here. Your articles display strong wisdom, yet humility and a desire to grow. I am encouraged to read the words of a fellow voyager, older and wiser than myself, yet humble and eager to live rightly, to live well.
Congratulations on your 3rd child. I'm sure you will father well as you seek to do so through prayer and humility. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thank you,
Cody
Cody ... thank you so much for your comment. This is the type of comment I like to print out and stick in a scrapbook. It was very encouraging to me. best--MB
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